A5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Men and Dating That We Can’t Excuse

A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. From the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the contestants to resolve an extremely loaded statement: “Name reasons a lady might opt to be by having a chubby or fat man. ”

The contestants’ answers end up supplying a round that is humorous the minds for the participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.

But my sister didn’t share this movie on the Facebook web page to garner laughs from her relatives and buddies. It absolutely was quite contrary: my cousin ended up being mad in the round’s subject therefore the answers offered. My cousin penned:

“This actually bothers me! This is the reason individuals think you should be skinny/fit become gorgeous, to be desired, to be loved, also to deserve anything…this is never OK! ”</p>

My sister tagged me personally on this page once you understand my history in fat studies and sex studies (so that as a fat masculine person), once you understand I would personally concur together with her frustrations.

Image description: A screenshot associated with the Family Feud game board because of the six most well known responses: “Fatty got money” (34 away from 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The single thing this round that is particular of Feud does correctly is summarize a number of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat males — and relationships.

Nonetheless, calling down myths that are fatphobic demonstrably perhaps not the game’s aim. Rather it perpetuated body terrorism against fat systems to get laughs that are cheap. Let’s undergo each one of the top six many popular answers in order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and damaging to males of size.

1. “Fatty Got Money! ”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable For Their Cash or Energy

The misconception: the truth that this misconception is one of popular for the six offered responses — 34 of this 100 individuals initially surveyed offered this or even a similarly-worded response — is troubling by itself. This misconception is one thing we come across throughout US tradition, whether or not it’s in movies, politics, or popular tradition.

The general assumption is that this fat man has to have money or some sort of power if a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man. Why else would a person who could presumably get with anybody they desired choose to be with a disgusting fat guy, right?

This type of idea is incredibly damaging for the complete great deal of fat males, placing each of their value as individuals in to the cash or power they might or might not have.

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The reality: While you will find, needless to say, many people who just seek relationships for cash or energy, the fact is that frequently, individuals will decide to get having a man that is fat they really wish to be with him. This misconception is a lot less frequently placed on thin or “fit” males, unless of course see your face is known to own cash or energy. Nonetheless it’s much easier for folks to know two thin or usually appealing people being together because they’re interested in one another than when a skinny or person that is traditionally attractive become by having a fat man for other less shallow reasons.

2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat Individuals

The misconception: Using this misconception, we come across exactly how individuals make an effort to take away fat people’s agency. It means that fat individuals will simply be able to have relationships along with other fat individuals, whether it’s simply because they only find other fat individuals attractive or that’s all they could “get”, when you look at the many brutal of terms.

Slipped into this misconception is really an associated fatphobic misconception: that all fat everyone loves for eating plenty of meals, and all sorts of individuals who want to consume food are fat.

The facts: place clearly, the presumption that fat individuals will just look for relationships with other fat individuals is false. Humans — fat, thin, as well as in between — could be and sometimes are drawn to a wide selection of individuals of all sizes and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will only ever be with fat individuals has reached ab muscles least ignorant, if you don’t entirely fatphobic and sizeist.

So that as for the idea that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that’s another myth too.

3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Guys Are Ugly

The myth: All men that are fat based on this worldview, are inherently less appealing than just about any partner they are able to ever have. Such men’s partners would just make use of them to look more desirable in contrast. This misconception helps make the assumption that, as stated above, no body could conceivably take a relationship having a man that is fat they’re actually interested in him. Fat individuals are simply tools to presumably make their non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.

The facts: just like some individuals might pursue a fat man for cash or power, some people might just pursue fat guys to appear more desirable to others. In fact, though, this is apparently less frequent than this answer could have us think.

I’ll keep saying the idea, regardless of if We appear to be a broken record: many individuals really find fat males appealing!

4. “She’s In Love”

This is the sole answer that is truly mocking-free in the utmost effective responses in the board. That by itself is illustrative associated with the fatphobia that is entrenched display within the other countries in the responses. It will come in at 9/100, and thus away from 100 people surveyed, “She’s in love” ended up being the solution provided by only nine individuals.

Exactly what are fat males viewing expected to think about their health and their worth as humans?

5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Great For Cuddling Although Not Intercourse


The misconception: it is those types of stereotypes that are“positive many of us you will need to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are trendy and confident. ”

Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, yet not much else in the “positive” part of stereotyping. As proof of this, one of many game show contestants offered a remedy that wound up maybe not being regarding the board: that a lady would date a man that is fat he had been proficient at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in the “comedic” fashion, responded just as if it was probably the most answer that is outrageous the planet, with all the other participants together with audience laughing in contract. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat guys can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t to be noticed as sexual beings, let alone “good” at sex.

The facts: the matter with “positive stereotypes” would be that they automatically alienate anybody who does not participate in those stereotypes. Even worse, they alienate anybody who really wants to be viewed as more than just the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.

The only redeeming quality our culture enables fat guys — if they aren’t rich or powerful, and never also 100% of that time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy teddies. Even though many fat males are indeed “warm and cuddly, ” it is harmful in order for them to see this because their only good trait.

Further, exactly just what somebody perceives as being that is“good “bad” at sex is normally totally subjective and situated in individual choice. Ridiculing the notion that fat guys could possibly be “good” at intercourse further entrenches systemic fatphobia.

6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too Eager For Like To Be Unfaithful

The myth: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the lovers, the thinking goes, simply because they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they usually have within their current relationship. Quite simply, they already know that no one else would like to be using them.

The reality: To place it bluntly, this can be straight up incorrect. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and attention that is romantic.

As damning as it can be to admit, fat males are just like likely as other males to cheat on the lovers. And many more crucially, this misconception posits that fat males are incredibly ugly, no body will give them the opportunity to cheat on the lovers, which, once again, normally drastically wrong to assume.